English Club Chatter

Since you ask, Trish, I think figurative language can be very effective in all sorts of writing, serious, academic, and otherwise. I always find it delightfully surprising and refreshing when I'm reading literary criticism and come across powerful and moving prose (it does OCCASIONALLY happen!). And non-academic prose can have fantastic metaphors, similes, and such.

For example, here's a bit of MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech:

"But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse to believe that there are insufficient funds in the great vaults of opportunity of this nation. And so we've come to cash this check, a check that will give us upon demand the riches of freedom and security of justice. We have also come to his hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of now. This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism. Now is the time to make real the promises of democracy. Now is the time to rise from the dark and desolate valley of segregation to the sunlit path of racial justice. Now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksands of racial injustice to the solid rock of brotherhood. Now is the time to make justice a reality for all of God's children."

Wow!

But figurative language can be tricky. The metaphor has to seem natural and unforced, you can't mix metaphors, and sometimes if you overextend a metaphor it blows up in your face. Here's a fun example from the Bulwer-Lytton contest (for bad writing):

"The blood dripped from his nose like hot grease from a roasting bratwurst pierced with a fork except that grease isn't red and the blood wasn't that hot and it wasn't a fork that poked him in the nose but there was a faint aroma of nutmeg in the air and it is of noses we speak not to mention that if you looked at it in the right profile, his nose did sort of look like a sausage."

Have any of you tried using figurative language in academic writing? Do you find it works differently than in poetry, short stories, or other kinds of writing?

--HH

You make a really good point, but I think some students can be afraid to try figurative language in their writing. How can professors and writing tutors instill a desire in students to enrich their writing with metaphor or other devices? Personally, I think a good analogy can help clarify a concept that is hard to put into words, and, of course, allegory has been used for thousands of years in folk tales and in religious stories to teach values and history.

I understand the fears you mention, and it may be that for some professors, figurative language is a no-no. (As a student, you always have to figure out the different expectations of your teachers, a tricky business.) I suppose the problem with metaphor in academic writing is that it's not the main purpose, which is to present a sound critical argument. A metaphor, after all, is not really an argument but an ornament, or perhaps at best an analogy (though I'd be interested to discuss this -- can you make an argument by metaphor?). My thinking would be that if a paper has a solid and convincing argument, figurative language can be the icing on the cake (a metaphor, of course), but that if you're chowing down on the essay and you find that all you're eating is icing, without any cake, you may as a reader end up with indigestion.

HH

Hello all =)

Noses and nutmeg! I think this is a great topic!

In high school, my teachers called figurative language "wordiness," in my writing, at least. In my senior year of high school, I was accused of that horrible "p word" because I wrote a paper that was "just too good." Of course, I maintained my innocence (because I WAS, in fact, innocent) but I still had to accept the rotten grade. Upon reexamining the paper, I found that I had used a lot of figurative language and I subsequently developed an anti-metaphor policy.

As far as college is concerned, I haven't really received any comments about it (but this could be because I've been scared to use it). =) Does anyone else have a fear of figurative language?? I can't be the only one with a tale to tell...

The whole of the debate can be quickly dispacthed if the writer would just become the rebel and say the hell with the rules. Now when you get up off the floor I want you to breath… breath damn it! Use a paper bag if you must. Now how many times do we remark “what a great _____ (you fill in the blank) He really conformed!” No, no, no…we are Americans, the land of the iconoclast. Throw off your literary shackles and run (write?) freely.

Attention Prof. Hamlin... That is of course not what I would do in anything I handed in to such a distinguished profesor as yourself...

I think both of you have touched on an important factor in this topic; the "discretion" of a teacher. Though most, I think, can recognize where a well-placed metaphor does a paper good, there are some who will automatically mark off for it, much like teachers who automatically mark off for passive voice, no matter how well it works.
Also, Dr. Hamlin's question of whether we can make an argument by metaphor reminded me of Plato. Plato often used figurative language to express an idea. Think of "The Myth of the Charioteer," in which he compares the parts of the soul to horses, or "Phaedrus," in which he states that the dialectitian is like a farmer and the spoken word his seed.
And don't forget the skill with which Abe Lincoln employed figurative language during the Civil War. Some say it was what won the war. If they didn't make their argument with metaphor, what these two, and MLK, did do was make their argument more palatable and accessible with metaphor.

Here's an example of metaphorical language in literary criticism. This is the opening of Stephen Greenblatt's "Shakespearean Negotiations":

"I began with the desire to speak with the dead.
This desire is a familiar, if unvoiced, motive in literary studies, a motive organized, professionalized, buried beneath thick layers of bureaucratic decorum: literature professors are salaried, middle-class shamans. If I never believed that the dead could hear me, and if I knew that the dead could not speak, I was nonetheless certain that I could re-create a conversation with them. Even when I came to understand that in my most intense moments of straining to listen all I could hear was my own voice, even then I did not abandon my desire. It was true that I could hear only my own voice, but my own voice was the voice of the dead, for the dead had contrived to leave textual traces of themselves, and those traces make themselves heard in the voices of the living."

Pretty powerful writing, I think!

HH

Sarah Stevens and I wrote an essay for 467 about metaphors (for the writing center---which is where the 467 came in). We found that:

1.) A good metaphor can be hard to find/make (for some things)
and
2.) They can actually clear up some issues, although they rarely fit perfectly

If a writer can explain a very complex issue/item/etc. with a simpler one, it can be very beneficial.
Maybe it’s not such a good idea to explain complex (or simple) things with more complex metaphors. (Like the blood that was like the juice of a bratwurst except it wasn’t like the juice at all and the nose was only a little like a sausage.) Or to try to make the metaphor fit perfectly, because it will only confuse the issue. Because of the difficulties inherent to metaphors, people avoid them. We too often end up with a metaphor along the lines of “Odysseus’s journey was like that of a salmon to its spawning ground,” so we do not use them. A strong metaphor can add to an argument, but the more frequently seen not-so-strong metaphors just add words. If we think up a great metaphor, or an interesting one, we should definitely use it. The only problem is actually thinking one up.

I'll have to confess that I'm one of those beastly instructors who has a pet peeve about wordiness. That's EXCESS wordiness. Why? Because every word should be meaningful, not redundant or superfluous (she writes, using a redundancy). On the other hand, a well-chosen metaphor will NOT be redundant; rather, it will be clarifying and electrifying and spine-tingling--the opposite of wordy. The key words here are, as I think Trish put it, "well-chosen" metaphor. Metaphors need to be good metaphors, just like other words or phrases or images need to be well-chosen. (i.e. Just cuz it's a metaphor doesn't make it innately good.) But, when my students are courageous enough to attempt a good one--wow, that's what makes writing come alive.

Why did metaphors work so effectively for MLK and AL? partly because metaphors--and most other figurative or "poetic" language--arouse emotional responses, not just our intellectual responses. Intellectual arguments don't always work; sometimes only appeals to our values, emotions, or better selves really get us going.

But let me turn your question around, Trish: can you actually write at all WITHOUT using metaphor? After all, language itself is just metaphor. This word I'm writing now is only a symbol of the idea I have in my mind. Can we really understand what "the universe" is EXCEPT by analogy or metaphor? Even seemingly scientific concepts are often essentially figurative: What is a "black hole" if not a metaphor?

So today, when I was running late for class, I was driving down route 30 behind somebody camped in the left lane, refusing to pass a semi. And I thought, "This guy is like a little glob of fat clogging up the arteries of transportation." So no, I don't think I can write without metaphor; I can't think without metaphor. Good figurative language beautifies and illuminates our thoughts; it's the language of poets and scientists, and to have to write without it would be terrible.

What she said! You nailed it exactly, I was thinking that also but I didn’t think to say it. All words are little pictures and what is a metaphor but a little snapshot of life? When I said we should throw away the rules, I didn’t mean we should be ignorant of them. Rather, I believe, we should know and respect them…but (and it is a big but) then we need to move on. If writing is an art (even academic writing) then how can it progress if it is constrained by any rules? Other forms of art have progressed by breaking the “rules”, think of jazz music, or abstract art, sure they have rules now (imposed by small minded men trying to control what they can’t really grasp) but they were pioneered by brave souls who dared to look beyond the normal. If we are striving to better ourselves then paint the best picture your mind will let you. a good example would be Physics, I have no real grasp of quantum physics let alone string theory or the new one. However, I can watch a well-done documentary on discover and the words that are related paint a type of understanding in my conciseness, that takes skill. The boring intellectual could write a technically perfect paper and never convey his meaning. So I guess the decision comes down to does this enhance my thesis?

About what you said about Discovery documentaries, that's exactly what I meant by the use of figurative language by Lincoln and MLK making something more accessible. It's not just poetic; it's a concept simplified without being condescending. Lincoln had no real education to speak of, he learned by reading the Bible, Aesop's fables, and Shakespeare, and he grew up among farmers and rural folk. So what he had was a way of speaking that could communicate effectively to the masses of people that didn't think "academically." He could have droned all day long about military strategy and no one would have paid any attention, but when said, "Hold on with a bull-dog grip, and chew & choke, as much as possible," it was an instantly recognizable sentiment.

Ok, so I posted this in the wrong place originally. Blog!

"Love is a snowmobile racing across the frozen tundra. Suddenly it flips, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come." --Tom Robbins, "Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas"

• Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. ~ John Harrigan

Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come.
-- Matt Groening, Love is Hell

Sometimes a metaphor is so good that everyone wants to use it.
Seriously, there is always a time and place for good metaphorical language. The problem is that, as writers, we don't always seem to know what that time and place is or what is good metaphorical language. Naturally, as readers, we know right away that some metaphors are as inappropriate as a presidential smirk in a hurricane's aftermath.
Yes, that's meant to be amusing, but it also illustrates the idea that you need to be certain that your metaphors match the overall tone of whatever it is you are writing. It can be effective, but it can also tear down your credibility like so many twenty-somethings on the Berlin Wall. In other words,a metaphor should not stand out like a sore thumb (can we talk about cliches next?).
As far as serious student essays go, unless they are essential to the context, I would suggest avoiding metaphors and certainly their overuse, especially if they are anything like the ones I've included here.
However, writing a solid essay that is an appropriate metaphor or that includes the perfect metaphor that shows you know how to connect texts, for instance, can be impressive. Use them judiciously. Of course alll bets are off for poetry and quality creative writing.

PS I would never mark off for figurative language, unless maybe I suggested that it might not work when looking over a rough draft. I want my students to take risks, but i also want them to be prepared to rethink things if they don't quite work as well as they did on paper.

And Trish, I like the way you think. Believe it or not, I came up with that same metaphor, and believe it or not, it was on Route 30. It was then that I came up with the idea of the Trans-Fatty Transportation Service. It was basically the two duct repair guys from the movie Brazil ridding our highways of such nuisances. Where are the bad choleterol cops when you need them?

Whether we prefer it or not, figurative language often represents the very core of our texts, including many academic essays. (There are more than 200 individual figures named and defined in classical and medieval style manuals.) As an instructor, then, I don't want students to include or exclude a figure simply because they might be graded down (or up) for it.

My best advice is to use any strategy available to you if and when it seems adequate and appropriate. Weigh up the likely (dis)advantages of using the figure at this moment in this text, and use your best judgment to reach a decision.

Writing choices are finally about effects, what our words do to/for other people and ourselves, so choosing to include (or exclude) a figure should depend on its *usefulness*. Other factors (like brevity or clarity) always count, too, which means the final choice is usually only an educated guess. The key, then, is to be as rhetorically aware as possible before making such guesses.

I think everyone has some sense of where figurative language fits into their compositions, but the line between good metaphor and bad, (and between beautiful and just plain cheesy) is sometimes hard to establish. Finding the right thing to say at the right time is tricky, which is why we revere people like MLK and AL for being able to do it so well. And Tom Robbins, who in my opinion has the all-time best opener for a book:
"The beet is the most intense of vegetables. The radish, admittedly, is more feverish, but the fire of the radish is a cold fire, the fire of discontent not of passion. Tomatoes are lusty enough, yet there runs through tomatoes an undercurrent of frivolity. Beets are deadly serious... The beet was Rasputin's favorite vegetable. You could see it in his eyes."
-Jitterbug Perfume

It is with our own very rhetoric that we are defined as writers, and in attempting to avoid argument our word choice and word use also define us as speakers. The argument I was trying to avoid was with those who maintain the premise that our writing and our speech are two entirely separate, but of course only coexisting within the same person.

The effect that a metaphor has on our writing it seems has to be closely linked to the context in order to avoid being tagged as "excessive wordiness", "corny", or simply out of context. If in considering our target audience, we are comfortable with including a figure in our writing, then perhaps it is productive. Ultimately, it is truly a choice and by chance that use of a particular metaphor, or figure of speech correlates our narrative smoothly. It is that very premise of the freedom of expression that writing offers us all that makes even this BLOG possible. I could include a metaphor in this response that 10 of 15 readers absolutely hate, but the other 5 are completely taken by its effectiveness. Which group is then right? Is it not an issue of taste and preference as to exactly how effective these things are?
But, in speech, I have to admit that in speaking too many figures, and metaphors would make me very cautious of the speaker.

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